First a shout out to NFL Guy’s main football confidant Big Mac. Get well man. I feel your pain my brother!
So…
Hope everyone had a wonderful holiday – and by that I mean Festivus. Now, as he does every week, NFL Guy will air the grievances the true fans of the NFL have…
CHARGERS 42 – TITANS 17
Think the league will hear about Phillip Rivers by the end of the season? Norv Turner’s next great QB is lighting things up, playing much like his first great QB Troy Aikman, in playing precise, error free football. The Titans had the proverbial puncher’s chance, but were throttled from the bell, and didn’t land a solid blow till it was way too late. At NFL Guy’s Festivus party, where I am still airing my grievances, I predicted that San Diego will make it to the big dance. I am more convinced of this now than ever. If the Chargers fall, it is because the defense is gashed by a strong running team, that can dominate the front seven box. I really don’t see one, outside of New England, who is not a complete enough team to take down the Bolts. If Rivers continues to play like this, he must be considered for league MVP.
FALCONS 31 – BILLS 3
Can Charlie Weiss really be the number one candidate for the coaching position in Buffalo? Anyone see what he did in Notre Dame? Granted, the Irish’s educational criteria is too stringent to lure in the gangsters and drive-by-shooters you need to be a top college team nowadays… Anyhow, what can be said about this game? The Falcons got some of their bigger players back, and played like they could have had injuries not racked up on them. But don’t be fooled by last year, Atlanta is still a second tier NFC team when healthy. They might be playoff bound for the next few years, but more talent is needed and QB Matt Ryan must continue to read the whole field better in order to move up in the pecking order… The Bills just need a whole lot more of everything…
COWBOYS 17 – WASHINGTON 0
Tony Romo right now is the best QB in the NFC. Had Roy Williams not bumbled a very catchable pass into a defender’s hand, Romo would still be interception free this month. Oddly the vastly over-rated Williams laughed away walking off the field after this happened. The Pokes’ defense is playing very well, and NT Jay Ratliff might just be the best D-lineman you have never heard about. If the Cowboy’s so-called genius of an offensive coordinator cannot generate more than 17 points a game, then the playoffs will once again be a heartbreaker for them. However, if they light it up, there is almost no team that can stop them… Anyone who loves the NFL must have really loved seeing pompous know-nothing Daniel Snyder watching the game, seeing his super expensive team get blanked by their most hated rival. DT “Fat” Albert Haynesworth will steal at least $41,000,000 from this team, and barely get on the field. Remember that number next time you need to make a car payment.
BENGALS 17 – CHIEFS 10
The Chiefs need to sit down at the end of the season and ask themselves: “Is Matt Cassel really the QB that can bring us success?” Methinks they already know the answer, and it probably is not yes. Let’s face facts, the Pats sold them a bill of goods, they knew wasn’t really all that good. The real question though is why they wouldn’t trade him to Denver for a first round pick? We will never know… On the other side the Bengals did just enough to take down a much inferior team, needing some good work from Carson Palmer on their last drive to take the victory. Palmer has been steady albeit not spectacular this year, not throwing for over 300 yards, on this run-first team. Their finale against the Jets ought to be something to watch next Sunday night.
BROWNS 23 – RAIDERS 9
The biggest news for Oakland was their former coach John Madden celebrated his 50th wedding anniversary on Boxing Day. Most NFL fans know Madden refuses to fly, which is comical when one considers his wife Virginia holds a pilot’s license. Outside of that wonderful story, the Raiders drop one to a team they should have beaten… Browns’ fans, don’t be fooled, Eric Mangini couldn’t coach the 1978 Steelers to a winning season. Mike Holmgren, the Big Walrus, has taken the reins in the front office now, and I am guessing he will jettison the arrogant buffoon of a coach, bringing in someone who wants to use the 4-3 defense. Maybe even himself…
PACKERS 48 – SEAHAWKS 10
No one cares if you aren’t so sharp in September when you prime in December, and this would mean Green Bay. No one wants to play these guys right now. Wouldn’t it be amazing if they went into Minnesota for the playoffs, and dropped the spiraling Vikings. LB Clay Matthews is my pick for defensive rookie of the year, and his bloodlines tell us he might be able to play for 15 seasons should the NFL gods protect his body. On the other side of the field stood the hapless Seattle Seahawks, who asked Mike Holmgren to return to the front office. He politely said no, and we will watch the franchise return to obscurity. This team is seasons away from becoming competitive again.
TEXANS 27 – DOLPHINS 20
Well Bill Parcells, once again, close but nope. If NFL Guy can show you one thing here, it is just that Parcells is past his prime, and his teams never do as well as you think they should. Sure Miami lost its QB, but was he really all that effective even when playing? The type of players the Tuna wants on his team were great in 1987, but the NFL is a passing league now, not a grind-it-out with Joe Morris league, which usually leaves his teams behind when it comes to the second season. But don’t worry, he is making millions, so he doesn’t have to look at a commoner like you!… Houston probably is going to be dancing for the last time this season next week, and the only question is – will it be the last game by the onetime hottest coaching candidate Gary Kubiak? It will be if Bill Cowher is interested.
PATRIOTS 35 – JAGUARS 7
The Jag’s Super Bowl was last week, and what we saw here was a tired and flat team against a solid squad. I am sure my faithful reader No More Maroney Baloney blanched when the man of his disdain dropped the ball on the goal line and was pulled for the rest of the game. The Pats are a solid group and Brady was brilliant, but I don’t see them being able to go on the road and win against the top teams. Of course if that top team is Indy, then they just might. Going into San Diego would be a huge challenge, especially if the running game stalls. This defense is just not good enough to stop the top offensive engines right now. However, when you have Tom Brady, We Welker, and Randy Moss when he decides to play, you always have a chance to win. It is the other side of the ball that should be of concern to Patriot’s Nation right now.
BEARS 36 – VIKINGS 30
On November 29th the Vikes toppled the Bears 36-10, and were the best team in the NFC. A little over a month later, the Bears are actually worse, but are able to defeat the sputtering, whining Vikings thanks to caustic QB Jay Cutler’s laser passing. Minnesota’s Coach Brad Childress has this idea that he is the most knowledgeable offensive mind in the NFL. (I didn’t notice the Eagles winning any Super Bowls when he was calling the plays). Now, he brings in a QB to run his system and win the big one. What he didn’t count on was that for being such a stupid Mississippi hick, Brett Favre is a diva and drama queen master matched by no one else maybe in the history of the league. And when the passing game wasn’t clicking the running game was stalling, with Adrian Peterson proving he cannot be trusted to hold onto the rock when it counts. (And yes he was face masked, and the refs missed it). After the game Childress taunted reporters saying they did not dare ask him tougher questions. Why bother – everyone knows the real score except maybe for Childress. Wouldn’t it be fantastic if the Pack walks over to Minny and pounds their crybaby former QB back to the farm? And if said QB claims he is never returning to the game, don’t believe him – his word is worth nothing. Also, if you want to ask him, don’t go where the team exits; Favre is so precious he has his own exit reserved only for him. Pretty crazy for a guy who loves using his tractor during the offseason.
JETS 29 – COLTS 15
Second to only Favre is whining and crying is always entitled Peyton Manning. The starters were pulled wisely by coach Jim Cadwell to keep them healthy for the second season. This resulted in the loss to an inferior Jets team. This then sent such shock waves throughout Indiana that politicians are demanding that the team refund money to the fans who attended the game. Huh? Now those are some dedicated fans – if we can’t see stars, then we want our cash back. Gimme a break. I never heard the true fans in Detroit say that even in Matt Millen’s darkest, most incompetent days. With this controversy, and the rumor grist mill going after Manning’s personal life, it might be a rough month for the self-proclaimed top star in the NFL. It might get rougher if they have to play San Diego for the AFC title. But once again, he can ease his sadness by charging $100,000 an hour to attend a birthday party, or do another commercial with noodle-armed sissy Justin Timberlake.
BUCCANEERS 20 – SAINTS 17 (OT)
When George Foreman was heavyweight champion he truly believed no man, even the immortal Muhammad Ali, could take him down. He then faced Ali, and the Greatest showed him the canvas because Foreman had weaknesses he could exploit. After this Foreman psychologically was no good for over a decade. Last week Dallas showed the Saints the canvas, because the Saints had weaknesses the Cowboys could exploit. New Orleans is now showing the psychological damage of seeing the floor for the first time. In come the pitiful Bucs, who joined the league the same year as the ‘Aints, and keep the game close. Frayed nerves abounded on the NO sideline, and when it came down to the championship rounds, doubt crept in and down went the Saints for the second straight week. NO will have home field throughout the playoffs, and should make the last game of the season. However, if Dallas comes back to town… Well Foreman always said he wanted Ali in the ring again, but…
PANTHERS 41 – GIANTS 9
Eli learned how to act like a petulant little child from the master his brother, who got his sense of entitlement from his dad who you would think was a football god. Usually great QBs get into the playoffs, you know? What can be said about this? Pathetic from the New York in every facet of the game. There were some great moments in that stadium, but I can safely say this was the lowest. You know things are really, really terrible when gruff Tom Coughlin feels the need to apologize. What more can be said?
CARDINALS 31 – RAMS 10
Listen to this – the Rams have twenty five – yes 25!!!! Undrafted players on their roster! I am not sure if any team outside of an expansion club has EVER had this number of street guys. All the Rams need to do now is lose next week to the Niners and the first pick is theirs. At least one of their former top picks, DE Chris Long is really coming on. Long has great strength, long arms, multiple pass rush moves, and is relentless in pursuit. In the years to come he will take his place as a top tier lineman if he stays healthy. At least that’s something, right? Their opponent the former St. Louis Cardinals are playing steady football, but I have no idea how they will do in the playoffs. At home they might do ok, but on the road, we shall see.
49ERS 20 – LIONS 6
Another who cares game late in the season. NFL Guy thinks that coach Mike Singletary will be retained in the Bay for at least another year, but must think more like a coach than player. The critical offseason decision will be whether to draft or find another QB. Alex Smith has had his chance, but he really hasn’t been anything more than a sporadic player, who makes a solid backup. Detroit suffered through another awful season, and is still a long way away. Winning two games so far is two more than they won last season, and the team is somewhat better. But let’s face facts, you can’t get worse than 0-16, so anything is somewhat better. Should the Lions not draft and sign free agents for the defense, especially pass rushers, but ESPECIALLY defensive backs, get ready for another low single digit campaign in 2010.
EAGLES 30 – BRONCOS 17
The Eagles can’t do this in the playoffs let me tell ya. We might be looking at the most overconfident team in the NFL right now. The Birds have pretty much told everyone they have won the division, yet a deciding game at the Mecca in Dallas to a team that beat them at home awaits. NFL Guy predicts a tough game, but the Eagles get plucked. In the playoffs, this team will make some noise, but believe me, QB Donovan McNabb will find some way, somehow, to fall short once more… Denver really is in more trouble than you think. Had Philly not left the field mentally in the second half, they would have lost by a real lot more. The defense is too finesse, and the offense is too predictable. Most interesting will be seeing what this team is like next year.
STEELERS 23 – RAVENS 20
Sure the Steelers have a heartbeat, but so does everyone until dead. And it really looks like Death is whispering their name. Perhaps if Pittsburgh didn’t believe they were going to win it all by just showing up they wouldn’t be in this place to begin with. And then the there are the Ravens who have been on a slow collapse since mid-October. I really thought this could be a big year for them, but for having so many veterans this is an immature team. A lot of this rubs off because the coaching staff are full of top blowers, and it really cost them in the New England game this season. Next week is critical for both teams, and many others, so make sure you are checking back here daily for updates…
