In nowhere in the NFL is new blood needed more than the announcing for the games and pregame shows. Let us look at some of what we have to endure to watch our beloved games:
CHRIS BERMAN – No one has done more to integrate himself into the history of the NFL without actually being in the NFL than the self-righteous Berman. All his lines are clichéd and you can pretty much guess what is he is going to say next with great accuracy. His act is not only tired, but tiresome, and he needs to go out to pasture. He especially looks pathetic while trying to match NFL stories with the likes of Cris Carter, Mike Ditka and Tommy Jackson. Even worse, he is now doing commercials which air during the game. See if you can find his videos on Youtube where he is chewing people out and acting like a female diva. ESPN pulled one of his vids where he explains how to transport codeine pills in your suitcase back from Canada. THAT was a classic. In fact there is a site out there chrisbermansucks.com.
CRIS COLLINSWORTH – What a sad replacement for the great John Madden. Cris is a acerbic, hard to look at, very hard to like guy. He has this little tiny head and rubbery neck, with a personality to match. He calls out players seemingly with a personal grudge, and often gets players’ names and numbers wrong. You would have to find a reality star to find someone quite this obnoxious on the squawk-box as him. His knowledge of the game is lost in his monotone droning. He seems to lack the proper emotion during critical parts of the game, and comes into games with an agenda of what he wants to say, despite the action on the field. He also beats subjects to death, offering no real insight like his predecessor did with such wit and down-to-earth charm. Type “I can’t stand Cris Collinsworth” into a search engine, and you will get almost 3,500 sites. NFL Guy is not alone.
THE WHOLE FOX CREW – I have to keep Jimmy Johnson out of this, as his steadiness is the only rudder for this jock fest. Terry Bradshaw and Howie Long have such man-crushes on each other it is ridiculous; and Michael Strahan is just not anywhere as funny as he thinks he is, (proof is in his TV show). This whole group sits around ribbing on each other like they’re in a locker room after a game. Bradshaw’s half-wit laugh is not as pronounced since you are probably still cringing from when he tries to read words off the teleprompter to really notice. They also all go ga-ga over the silicon enhanced Jillian Barberei, who is the FOX management crew of what every woman should look like. Take a good gander at her – she looks like the Bride of Frankenstein after visiting Doctor Hollywood. She was so bad talking football they put her on the weather, as the three goons make mildly veiled sexual references to her on an early morning, “family centered” football pre-game show. Leave it to the liberal media on FOX to do that.
